Well, I am officially on sick leave, but don't know yet if I will get benefits.
I see a therapist every week and a doctor once a month, and they both actually
seem to know what they're doing. I cried all night after seeing the doctor
for the first time - she was the first person I have ever met who understood.
I had never really before considered how lonely it is to be like me, to go 40 years
- and despite 20 years of asking for help - never finding a single person
who can relate. It was a bit of a revelation once it finally happened.
A couple of weeks ago the house started stinking like a sewer
and after inspecting the cellar I realized the kitchen drain was leaking,
but we couldn't tell if the pipe was burst or if the big drain was backed up.
So we cleaned the drain and for a couple of days we didn't use the kitchen.
When it was all dry I ran the dishwasher, keeping an eye on what was what.
That was when I saw that not only is it leaking in to the cellar,
it is also leaking through the 40 cm outer wall, coming out on the outside...
Now we're doing the dishes in the shower, I'm calling the plumbers tomorrow
and there's a chance we will have to take down part of the outer wall :(
The sale of the store has gone through and on the 16th I'm handing over the key.
Since it was the building company itself that bought the locale from us they don't want
any of the merchandise. So next week I'm hosting a 3-day super sale,
but I will still be left with so much stuff I don't know what to do with.
If any of you blog friends lived anywhere remotely close I would invite
you over to take what you wanted in exchange for dinner and debauchery :)
I don't know what to do after I completely close the 'store chapter' of my life.
It's been 7 years. Studying didn't really suit me, and looking for a regular job
is complicated for someone like me. But staying at home doing nothing,
feeling like crap, is just not an option either. I feel lost. My therapist asked me
if I couldn't just rest a bit in knowing that I was allowed some sick leave.
Me: "HAH! ...wait, can other people actually do that..?"