I have the jitters. My bed stand is full of hand written lists, my belly
is full of butterflies. I'm leaving in 5 days and up 'til now most of my energy
has been spent on filling out the ridiculously long web application for my man
to be allowed to live with me in Sweden, and on trying to survive every day
sad and completely alone. But yesterday suddenly a new host of emotions
settled on me; anxiety, excitement, hope - and serious travel nerves.
I can't remember when I last had a pleasant trip, it's been many years.
A couple of years back I did fly to Florence, Italy - only to get caught
right up in the problems following the eruption of the Icelandic volcano.
I had one night of relaxation and beer drinking before I heard the news
and then spent the rest of my time desperately trying to find a spot on a bus
or in a car driving north. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life.
Traveling on stand-by this time is certainly not doing much to calm me.
There is a slight possibility I will get bumped at the very last second,
when I'm already at the airport, ready to go. It's hard to think about.
Leaving my cats in the care of my parents is also a bit of a gamble.
And packing! The last time I packed for a short trip I ended up
with nothing to wear. I don't even know how that happened.
And last but not least: What will it be like seeing my man again,
but then only getting 3 days with him? What will it be like having to
part yet again after just a few days, this time not knowing when
we will see each other again? That one hurts to think about.