2014-01-21

The waiting game



As many of you know my Cinnamon man is American
and we have been waiting forever to learn if he can stay in Sweden.
We met 2 ½ years ago when he came over to take care of his grand mother
who needed to be moved into a care facility. His parents were both born
in Sweden but they live in the States since 50 years, and he's an only child.

Since then we have gone back and forth with Migrations. Not only are all of his
relatives Swedes, but so are his best friends. He speaks Swedish and he wants
nothing more than to live and work here. 4 months ago his application was rejected
at the lower instance and we appealed to the Court of Migrations. Last week we called
and found out that a decision has been made and that we could expect a letter
in the mail any day. (But of course they wouldn't tell us what the verdict was...)

Today Cinnamon man called them again, and found out that they still haven't
sent the damn letter. You can imagine how frustrating it is. We have lived
together for almost 2 years now, never being able to make any plans
and Cinnamon man has not been allowed to work during that whole time.
And now they are just sitting on the damn thing!

Since we learned that the letter was on its way I have been in a state.
I have checked the mail box twice a day, my heart in my throat.
I have cried, read, baked, sewed, cried some more, had lots of wine.
I have asked Cinnamon man to call and double check that the letter
isn't lost in the mail. I have searched on-line for tips on how to manage
a long distance relationship. I have fantasized about a positive answer
and us celebrating the happy news with friends and family.







I'm basically going out of my mind.




***UPDATE***

Since some of you have reacted to or asked about how come
Cinnamon man has been rejected even though so many things are in his favor,
I thought I'd again share a little bit more information about our process:

The law says that one has to apply for a Swedish residence permit
from one's home country. So by law Cinnamon man has to go back to
the States to apply from there, which can take up to 8 months. In certain cases
you can get an exception from that rule and apply while you are staying
in Sweden on a temporary visa, and this is what we have asked for.
But those exceptions usually involve children, pregnancies, illnesses etc.

In Sweden, being married and living together are considered the same
in the eyes of the law. We were actually discouraged by a lawyer from getting
married in the middle of this process, since that might look suspicious.





 





41 kommentarer:

  1. Oh honey! I'm sending you lots and lots of love and hugs and cuddles. sigh ... this must be the most horrific and frustrating time for you. grrrr ....

    SvaraRadera
  2. What an awful, frustrating and heartbreaking ordeal you two have been going through. Shame on Migrations for keeping you in the dark and not sending that letter as soon as they had it written! Sending you both lots of love and keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for good news.

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you. Migrations are the kings and queens of procrastination...

      Radera
  3. I am so sorry! Gosh, I can't even imagine! I'm sending positive thoughts and hopes your way!

    SvaraRadera
  4. I'm so sorry that you and your love are going through this!

    SvaraRadera
  5. Oh my dear, I wondered when this day would come for you, it must have been just awful just, and now they're making you wait some more!

    You're both in my thoughts and I pray you receive the answer you're hoping for.

    Fingers crossed x

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you so much, Yvonne! Yes it's an anxious time :(

      Radera
  6. They must must let him stay! You will NOT have to have a long distance relationship:( don't even think such things. I send so much love and energy your way.

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. You are an optimist, Jennifer :) Unfortunately I am not...

      Radera
  7. I am so sorry to hear the hardships you are going through. I hope for the best for you both.

    SvaraRadera
  8. Oh,my...I'mso sorry to hear what's going on, when you first mentioned that you're waiting for the verdict, I thought it should be alright...I mean, what's the problem? What's the reason why he might not be allowed to settle in Sweden? On which end are they difficult about it, in Sweden or in the US? And another thing, that migh sound silly, but...can't you declare your relationship as a common - law marriage? I belive that's how it'scalled...:) I mean, immigrans are allowed in many European countries if they're officially together with someone from the country in question.

    Anyway, I know it must be hard on both of you and I hope you'll receive that damn' letter soon and, of course, the verdict will be positive. :) Hold on, I'm sure there is a way! ^^

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you, Lynoire! I updated the post with some more info to answer your (and others') questions.

      Radera
    2. Yep, I've read it. And...yes, there's something to it, it might look suspicious now, in the middle of the process...I was still in the middle of my migration process in Belgium when I got together with my boyfriend - who's Belgian - and the agent actually suggested getting into a common - law marriage with him to get overwith the paperwork faster...wedidn't have to do it because I had a valid Belgian address and a job, but it was an option...:)

      Radera
  9. You'll have to wait a little longer to open the champagne and bring in the cake, but the wait will be over eventually. Hopefully really soon. Have a lucky week ;-)

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. You are also an optimist, Vanessa :) Unfortunately I am not...

      Radera
  10. I really know whether he is allowed to stay or not (really can't believe the government won't let him after living as a Swede for all this time and he has family and a life/home, also is capable of working so will not want government benefits!) anyway, I know, either way, it will work out, you will be together, I hate the way the pencil pushers are creating such anguish for you both. Hope to hear good news soon and sending hugs xo

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you, Shelle! I updated the post with some more info to answer your (and others') questions.

      Radera
  11. *hugs* I really hope that you both receive the very best of news and very quickly! I too am suffering from the waiting game, not in the way you are but in a way that affects everything. It's very difficult but try to stay hopeful.

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you, Hannah! I wish for good news for you too.

      Radera
  12. I can't understand why it's such an issue for Immigrations when his parents are Swedish! That doesn't make any sense to me. It's not like he's just some random guy trying to get into the country or anything - he has family there!

    I hope they get that letter mailed soon. :o(


    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you, Insomniac. I updated the post with some more info to answer your (and others') questions.

      Speaking of letters - have you received my package yet?

      Radera
    2. Nope, not yet - but mail seems to be really slow these days. Still waiting for things from the US that were sent at the end of December. I'll let you know when it shows up though! :o)

      Radera
  13. So frustrating!! I still can't fathom why they would turn Cinnamon Man down, given that he's first generation Swedish by blood & family.

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. It's super frustrating :( I updated the post with some more info to answer your (and others') questions.

      Radera
  14. This might sound a bit ridiculous, but I'm happy you are looking at what it would be like if you had to have a long-distance-relationship for a while. It's a very healthy bit of research.

    Migration can be a pain in the behind. I'm hoping for good news. If not, I'm hoping that you guys live the most romantic three months of your lives (while he is in the US) and then you get reunited to spend the rest of a great relationship.

    I keep you both in my thoughts.

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you Magaly. I've had a few LDR's before, so I know what it's about. Though that doesn't make it any easier, because I swore I wouldn't do that to myself again... :(

      Radera
  15. Med tanke på att han har så mycket relationer till Sverige så är det konstigt att det har krånglat så mycket :-/. Jag håller tummarna för er nu. Massor med kramar.
    Tack förresten för paketet :) jag fick det förra veckan. doftpåsen luktar underbart och dukarna är jättefina :D

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Tack, och jag är glad att du gillade det!

      Radera
  16. Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear this! I cannot imagine what you are going through with this kind of anquish in your heart and mind. I am hoping for the best possible situation for both of you. Warmest hugs, Mina

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. Thank you for the kind words, Mina!

      Radera
  17. I'm a little behind in my blog reading so am just seeing this. I have my fingers crossed for you and Cinnamon Man that everything works out for you. I'm sending positive energy your way.
    blessings
    ~*~

    SvaraRadera
  18. It's crazy the dumb immigration rules that some countries have. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and for Cinnamon man.

    SvaraRadera
  19. I really hope you get to hear something soon and that it's good news. Fingers and toes are crossed for you. :-)

    SvaraRadera

Lately I have been falling behind answering comments, for many reasons. But I read and cherish all of them! Your comments make my day, yay!

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