I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Ok, I do know what I'm feeling,
but it's just too many different things all kerbobbled in to one tired mess today.
To steal some words from a fellow blogger: I'm in a funk. It was all well and good
(again: Ok, it wasn't really) until I woke up this morning with a heavy head
and rain against the window. Rain equals fewer sales equals bored at work
equals me hunched over the computer for most of the day eating lots of junk.
I'm sure I had a point when I began this rant, but it's lost to me now...
Actually, when I think about it, most of my life I have been in a funk.
That's what a life long depression will do to you. Funkiness.
It just feels extra crappy when one has no money, one's house is a dirty mess
and one's future, in more than one way, is uncertain because of outside factors
one cannot influence. There is a profound sense of discontentment - with everything.
The ideal would be this leading to a restlessness that then spurts creativity,
but without any energy instead one just grows sad and apathetic (and pathetic).